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范文参考雅思写作范文参考

  • 杨同学
    雅思写作批改范文

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    First of all, one’s education level is the (不用加the) essential to deal with problems. In his/her studying period, he/she has learned plenty of knowledge of culture and manners from their teachers. He/She should know how to treat with happenings in decent language and behaviour. There are many vivid instances you can see in the daily life. A simple example, a well educated man who wears simple cloth (穿着简单的布?)

    stepped on another man’s foot unguardedly in crowded subway station, the latter who is dressed modern and decorated with jewelry shout abuse after the former apologized obliging. It’s a so ugly picture.(完全偏题的例子,这个例子只能说明一个人的素质和衣着无关,而你这一段的分论点是“一个人的教育背景和能力无关”,这是一个严重的扣分点!)

    Moreover, one’s living environment is also an important element. If one lives in a complicated situation that (is) full of inferior people who are tyrannized, he/she must be influenced to settle cases in a rude way. On the contrary, if a personlives with high level friends who do everything considered and patiently, he/she would copy their merits to let the problem down gently.

    in poorer families can deal (+with) problems better than those who were born with a silver in their mouthes (应该是with a spoon with silver in the mouth吧?即便如此这种说法也有中式英语之嫌,不推荐使用).Recently, the problem of how to cultivate the children’s abilities has become a hot issue in society.
  • 苗同学
    雅思写作批改范文

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    Topic: Children who grow up in families without large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with problems in their adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. Do you agree or disagree?Recently, the problem of how to cultivate the children’s abilities has become a hot issue in society.

    (第一句话就有问题,the problem of ...... has become a hot issue,翻译成中文就是“一个......的问题如今已经成为了一个......的问题”,而且problem用在这里也有问题,必须正确区分 question, problem和issue三者的区别,这里how to cultivate children's abilities 不应该是一个problem,因为problem用在这里含义就跟trouble差不多。)

    Most people thought (这里为什么用过去时?过去时说明人们以前这么想,现在已经不这么想了)that children who were bornin poorer families can deal (+with) problems better than those who were born with a silver in their mouthes (应该是with a spoon with silver in the mouth吧?即便如此这种说法也有中式英语之嫌,不推荐使用).

    However, I want to claim that one’s ability is not associate(d) with his/her family circumstancewhatever (应该用 no matter) it’s rich or not, but it depends on his/her education level, environment as well as personality. (这里应该直接而明确地表明你的观点作为statement,即出生穷人家的孩子未必处理问题就强于富人家的孩子。Topic中问的是"do you agree or disagree",首先要明确回答,这就是评分标准当中的Task Response!)

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